


Reason(s)

by Aangvatar



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Iwaizumi and Akaashi need a grip, Kuroo Tetsuroo is a good employer, M/M, Oikawa Tooru is a God sent, lots of pining, matsukawa issei is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aangvatar/pseuds/Aangvatar
Summary: A story of Akaashi and his oblivious Iwaizumi-san.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Iwaizumi Hajime
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

"Akaashi." 

A rough voice that he longed for for weeks finally reached his ears, but Akaashi had to swallow first, delicately placed the almost-dropped water filled bucket on the ground next and mentally counted up to three seconds as good measures before raising up his head. 

Then, there was him, Iwaizumi Hajime, in all his glory. Tanned skin, warm smile and green eyes in his usual white shirt and a ransack slung over his right shoulder. 

"Iwaizumi-san" Akaashi greeted him with a small nod and a small smile that came out too big, helplessly failed to hide his excitement. 

"How was Seijoh? Still living up to expectation?" 

Seijoh was known as a city for the lovers of the green, and it was also Iwaizumi's mother land. The journey from Fukurodani went a long way, grovelling hours of travelling but always had been a go-to option for Iwaizumi in his search for herbs and tonics. 

Iwaizumi paused. 

"It sure is" he answered with pearly white smile and Akaashi stilled in awe and swore inside. 

It had been two weeks since Akaashi last saw him, and when he thought that the pulsating need and longing he felt with each days passing by with not seeing Iwaizumi around will dissipate as soon he laid his eyes on him, oh how wrong he was.

It just swelled doubles, hammering onto his cages so hard, Akaashi had to pray that Iwaizumi heard nothing of sorts. 

He must have froze too long that Iwaizumi suddenly crossed his arms on the fence and lean closer to Akaashi. 

His grin grew a tad bit wider. 

"You've got something here, Akaashi" He moved his right hand swiftly to Akaashi's left cheek, and clean the blackish mark there with gentle circular rubs. 

Which happened to be strategically too close, yet too far from the edge of his lips. 

_Great lifetime occurrence._

Iwaizumi's hand was rough and calloused,but the gentle touch lasted for seconds too short, mercilessly not enough for Akaashi to indulge the finest gist of it, to carve it into his subconscious as it was gone as soon as it came. 

"You can come inside if you want, I can make you a coffee or something" Akaashi finally managed though breathy. He prayed that the speed of his speech was enough to mask his bubbling excitement. 

"Oh...," Iwaizumi responded, "You missed me, Akaashi?" His tone half teasing. 

With a mouth half opened, not being able to utter a word, Akaashi was saved from the dreaded situation when Iwaizumi brushed it off with a scoff and squinted eyes. 

"I would love to, but I've got a lot of things to do" Iwaizumi murmured as his arm went fishing for something in his ransack. 

"But before that...." A blue hydrangea glass miniature, about the size of Akaashi's favorite tea mug, was fished out and placed onto Iwaizumi's palm "This one for you"

When Akaashi's attention was fully on that figure, Iwaizumi swiped his hand over it and slowly, it melted, puddling on the platform it was previously placed on. 

Then, as if being kneaded like clay, it blooms again, reemerging as five-clover freesias. Symmetrical smooth blue petals with detailed fine lines in between appeared and it shone with glossy-finish under the sunrays. 

"It's beautiful" Akaashi whispered, his eyes bright, twinkling with both curiosity and excitement on the freesias miniature in Iwaizumi's hand. 

A pause of a second, then he glanced up at Iwaizumi. Eyes big and raised brows, "It's.. for me?"

"It is" Iwaizumi answered easily as he pulled Akaashi's right hand and place it there.

"Anthónmorph" Akaashi half-whispered to himself. 

"That's right" Iwaizumi agreed and fluff out Akaashi's dark hair, making him jumped at the sudden contact and display of affection. 

Anthónmorph, miniature of the flowers, said to be changing according to what pictured in the mind of the hand that swept over it. It was rare, harder to find in their city, as it wasn't as bustling and forward as other cities. It had been a long time since Akaashi set his eyes on one, saving some scrapes of money he managed to one day be able to buy at least a used one in the flea market of the neighbouring city. 

However, there was a limit for everything. Like for an anthónmorph, it's ability to morph was limited depending on the colors and it seemed like Akaashi had the blue one in his hands. 

The rattling sounds produced when Iwaizumi pulled his ransack over his shoulder shook Akaashi off his mid-day daze. 

"I shall take my leave now" Iwaizumi smiled apologetically and with a nod, he ambled away from a blanked out Akaashi. 

Scraping his mind for any words at all, Akaashi called him out loud. 

"Iwaizumi-san!" His voice didn't sound like his, it trembled, (Akaashi's voice never tremble like that) and it was rushed (Akaashi was always calm when he talk), but he paid no attention to any of it. 

"Can I come with?" He asked, when Iwaizumi turned to face him. 

"Of course" He beamed. "If you're fine with Matsukawa along" 

_What did Matsukawa— that uselessly tall lanky lad with thick brows had to do in the middle of our—_

"We are going to write new entries from this recent Seijoh visit we've been” Iwaizumi continued and chuckle when Akaashi's zoned out space turn into a sour disgust. 

Akaashi took it that recent Seijoh visit may not be at all as pleasant as it was, (because Matsukawa tagged along) and for today he concluded that Iwaizumi was one teribble man at reading the lines of romance. 

But Akaashi was not one to sink in despair since there's always another chance. 

"I'll come at later time, then" 

The sky was already bathed in hues of pink and blue when Akaashi left running to Iwaizumi's. Though prior, he did manage a shower, which supposed to be a quick one (but lasted longer because in the middle of it he suddenly reminded that Iwaizumi once left a remark that he smelled nice) so he stayed longer in the shower, hastily tapping his feet on the floor waiting for the mint and bergamot scent to seep into his skin and quickly dressed up in a clean black shirt and khaki trouser he had in the back room of the small diner he worked at.

In his haste to leave, he almost tripped on Kuroo's feet (And yell a 'sorry Kuroo-san, you should be more careful next time' and smirk when seeing Kuroo flinched in pain) but was later befall with a Karmic retribution as he had to ran back to the diner after already passing five stores and two lines of homes because apparently he forgot to take some Iwaizumi's favorite onigiri with him. 

(Just for you to know, Iwaizumi loved Akaashi's onigiri so very much)

Standing in front of the big glass door, was a sweaty panting Akaashi. He pulled out his folded handkerchief, dabbed at the sweats on his forehead while breathing in and out for a few times until his breathing became even.

A small rectangular plywood with 'closed' label was hanging at the front door, but when Akaashi applied the gentlest pressure on the handle, he managed a sigh of relief. 

It wasn't locked. 

Puffing his chest, Akaashi strode inside, peeked at the empty counter at the entrance before calling out. 

"Iwaizumi-san" 

Akaashi's soft, quite voice echoed, stopping Iwaizumi in his trance of sorting the newly discovered four petals purplish-pink flowers littered with dots of grey which turned a few shades lighter towards the centre on the old rug spread on his table. 

"Akaashi" Iwaizumi regarded. The distance carried off the weight of his voice but his hurried steps on the creaking wood made the edge of Akaashi's lips twitched in excitement. 

"Come on in" Iwaizumi treated him with a big warm smile, and Akaashi felt like he was killed for the third time in a day. 

Akaashi followed him inside. From the small wooden rectangular room as the entrance, they passed through a dark narrow hallway, which ended at a large space of two different entities. 

The right side of the space was made of two floors, roofed orange bricks. The first floor housed two rooms and an old cushy lounge was at the ground. A single flight of wooden stair was at its furthest end. 

The left side of the space was manned from the outside by glass wall. Magnificent rows of plants with flowers of rainbows and leaves of seasons were arranged in perfect order—heights, colors, types,volumes— pretty much everything was taken into account.

The centre of the space situated a big oak table. Papers already inked with colored sketches scattered all over it—

—and it looked like the artist hadn't leave after all. 

Akaashi sighed when he saw a black wavy mop of hair sank into the table, stirs of sleep became more pronounced the closer he stepped. 

"He's still here" He blurted out. 

Iwaizumi burst out laughing before he fetched a tea pot and two cups of white ceramics from the kitchen and place one in front of Akaashi. 

"Matsukawa tried to stay awake because he wanted to see your face" Iwaizumi poured the tea—still steaming—into Akaashi's cup, "But he then fall asleep, so I dare say, it's your win" 

"I'm not as childish as him, Iwaizumi-san" 

"I once said that too Akaashi, but there's no stopping him" 

"That, I can’t disagree" He nodded, and this time, they shared seconds of tense eye contact before breaking it off with easy laughter. 

"Your plants look well Iwaizumi-san" Akaashi commented as he took a sip of his tea.

Iwaizumi's Boston ferns in coconut husks hung above them. Their dark green leaves and arching feathers showed not even a remote sign of being abandoned for two weeks. 

"I'm actually pretty disappointed you didn't dare to leave them in my care" 

"Because you'll probably kill them after two days" A foreign voice chimed in and Matsukawa yawned, "Reason of death would be...drowning" 

Iwaizumi chuckled but Akaashi sent a glare to his direction, "That unkept hair of yours is going to block your vision, Matsukawa-san” He said. “I’m afraid that when you’re choking inside the Southern Venus Flytrap it would be too late” 

Matsukawa placed his chin in his hand and smile sickeningly sweet. "Well, hello to you too. I don't know you miss me that much" 

"I don't" Akaashi kept his stoic face. "But hello to you too, Matsukawa-san" 

“Akaashi...” Matsukawa bare his teeth, smiling and take Akaashi in his arms.

The night had taken over the warmth of the day. The three men was sitting down around the table, sipping their beers and gobbling down on Akaashi’s onigiri when he asked,

“What’s the rush with the entries?”

They always do the entries, (for the sake of civilisation and humanity—as Akaashi loved to dub it) but it usually start the next day they arrived at Fukurodani. Iwaizumi mainly write off the context, the state of the habitat the herbs, or flowers found in, the smell, the usage (when he managed to figure out one) and Matsukawa mainly did the curiously good illustrations. Akaashi lent a hand sometimes, usually to organize the scrapes of paper in an orderly, easily accessible manner. 

Both of the young men shared a look and after a silent staring contest, Matsukawa pulled the white flag. 

He drew a long breath and reply, “There are... things we need to... decide” 

He scratched the back of his neck and spare a mournful glance at Iwaizumi.

Then, he raised to his feet and squeeze Iwaizumi’s slumped shoulders.  
  
"I shall turn in for today" He announced, nod at Akaashi once, wishing him a good night second and leave. 

  


Akaashi and Iwaizumi were the only two in that dimmed lighted space now however, instead of getting bubbles and butterflies in his stomach, Akaashi felt sick. The silence between them was deafening to the point of overwhelming and Akaashi could feel his heart rate slowly picking up.

Akaashi was looking down at his fidgeting hands, a habit of when he was nervous that he was still unable to get rid of for years. He wanted to held his head up to go face to face with Iwaizumi, but to think of what face Iwaizumi was making terried him more than his curiosity. 

Then suddenly, Iwaizumi stood up from his seat and extend his right hand for Akaashi.

When Akaashi looked up, there was a forced foreign smile carved on his face.

“Shall we take a walk?”

Akaashi had fantasized a night walk like this with Iwaizumi for multiple times. Two of them, walking hand in hand under the light of full moon. Stars twinkling as long as the stretch of the sky allowed, with crickets singing songs and fireflies swarmed in exquisite formations surrounding them, and such.

But tonight, was shone by crescent moon. The clouds hurdled the night sky and no matter how hard he squinted for stars, Akaashi managed to see none. 

They started off walking next to each other but soon, Akaashi's anxiety eating up to him and he fall a few steps behind Iwaizumi. From where he was, he saw those broad shoulders slumped and cold, and Akaashi wondered if it had always look like that. 

“Iwaizumi-san” 

Iwaizumi halted in his track to the soft call of his name and gently turned around to face Akaashi.

Like a practiced move, the smile from before instantly took place on his lips, and Akaashi's heart lurched. 

Within two feet distance between them, Akaashi managed to trace the familiar frown in between Iwaizumi's eyebrows. 

Though he was never fond of how the line masked the gentleness in Iwaizumi's expression, and always had the urge to smooth it down, tonight his thoughts was bothered by what means he needed to do to infiltrate the green of Iwaizumi eyes instead.

Akaashi shook off the frost that clung onto his limbs by taking a step forward and ask,

“What is it?”

Iwaizumi inhaled, drowning himself into the tints of blue in Akaashi’s eyes and alas, he croaked out, “The old man who took care of me since I was a brat wanted me home,"

A long pause, “For good.”

That mere two words must have weighed at least the world because Akaashi felt like it was crushing him down, crumpling his limbs and trunks. He felt like he was drowning because it was hard to breathe and his insides felt like it was burned down by acids of venomous fluids. 

“Do you want then?” Akaashi managed despite the choke creeping in his throat and warm liquid already pooling under his eyes, "Do you want to leave?" 

A glimpse of shock flickered through Iwaizumi’s face before rough calloused hands found its way on Akaashi’s cheeks. The sturdy thumbs stroked over his flushed cheeks with gentle caress. 

“Akaashi...” Iwaizumi murmured. 

  
In that few seconds, Akaashi felt the distance between them was closing. The sound he heard was of his ragged breathing interlaced with Iwaizumi's calmer one, finding its rhythm and settling itself into the space between them. The sensations he felt was the soft breeze of Iwaizumi touches on his back and the haggard sobs of his own shoulders. 

The next thing he realized was the lingering press on his face as Iwaizumi pulled away. 

"I'll just walk you home" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Akaashi don't hate Matsukawa at all. (Just stop teasing the poor guy please)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go to second chapter. Take a guess who's my favorite cameo?

Akaashi was lying down on his side, his body curled up amidst arrays of soft blankets surrounding him. The anthónmorph was standing firm, close to his center on the bed, as the melted ceramic bubbled up in a low simmer before it bloomed, forming first three separate white lines as the center for each petals. Then blue paints swooshed in, dots by dots, as it colored down the clovers up to its furthest edges. An intense yellow rim encircled the center next, to complete the final act of the morphism to a figurine of three brilliant blue forget-me-nots stalks. 

Like any other day, Akaashi was still struck with awe every time he watched these changes. He moved slightly to caress the petals, and within seconds, a beam of faint light was emitted out from each minute dots on the bodies of the faux-flower and lighted up his dark room in a mellow yellowish dim. 

To think that he never knew that Anthonmorph can do that, he sighed in defeat. Akaashi never in his life thought of himself as Mr-Knew-It-All, but he did took some pride to be one of the brightest among his peers. Now though, the absurdity of how he managed to missed an important detail on something that he had kept his eyes on for so long was beyond his logic. 

Akaashi sighed for the hundredth times that night alone. In the moment when he was surrounded by nothing but the darkness of his room and the quiet swishing of wind outside, his mind visited the same topic that lingered and never left. 

Iwaizumi. 

It had been three days since their last encounter, but he still hadn't mustered enough courage to knock on Iwaizumi's door. The dread of not seeing him was starting to take a toll on him, but to think that he did not even know how to react when he saw him! It was simply, _terribly devastating._

Iwaizumi was leaving Fukurodani — for good! — and there was nothing he could say to that. 

He couldn't afford to ask him to stay here just because Akaashi had grown very fond of that man and wouldn't know if he'll be able to glance at flowers again without thinking of him— _which yeah, he couldn't just say it like that._

What Akaashi even was to Iwaizumi? 

A customer who happened to be one of the visitors of his shop? 

A cook who worked at the only diner slash pub in town?

A friend with some smarts that can be a good helping hand in organizing his entries? 

Akaashi groaned out load, curling himself deeper into the mess of the bed and buried his head under the pillow. He really didn't know his stance in Iwaizumi's life. After all, not all deliberate brisk brushes of hands, flushes on cheeks and stutters of soft words meant love was in the air — _right_?

Especially for people like Iwaizumi, who was always a gentleman with specks of thoughtfulness lingered in all his action. He must had just feel bad to see Akaashi loading the supplies from the truck to the diner's kitchen by himself which was why Iwaizumi often came over to help him, _right?_ He would had helped others in the same situation, _wouldn't he?_

And, wasn't Iwaizumi was one of those who would dive headfirst in whatever he did? And this brave Iwaizumi-san, whom he thought might share at least a tint of the same feelings with him hadn't even utter a single word that spun in the axis of the 'I like you' plane.

Akaashi rolled onto his back with yet another groan and tiny kicks to the air and stared helplessly at the empty ceiling. He figured that this night was not the night where he could came up with a decision so Akaashi lifted up the anthónmorph to his desk, hovered his hand across it and the room turned pitch black like a click. 

* * *

The next day, Akaashi found himself standing in front of the familiar glass door, with an 'open' label hanging at the front. His right hand was occupied with stacks of lunch boxes, and he swore for the thousandth times inside. 

Iwaizumi, nor Matsukawa had never ordered lunch from his workplace, so why the sudden surprise? And that traitor Kuroo san had no mercy at all to his best-employee of the year! _(You look distracted for days Akaashi, maybe you need to see this sweetheart of yours and settle those worms in your stomach)_ — was not a credible enough purpose, Kuroo-san.

Dragging another long breathe, Akaashi pushed the door open only to be greeted with an empty counter. The wodden shelf hung on the wall behind the counter was sparse saved for a few canisters of half-filled herbs of muddy greens and autumn browns. None of the dried black beetle and creamy worms seen in between the stacks. 

Both of them must haven't had the chance to refill the supplies since their return from Seijoh. 

Or they just wouldn't bother to, since they were about to return to Seijoh anyway. 

Shaking his head, Akaashi slapped his cheeks to reel himself and called out, "Iwaizumi-san?"

When his greeting was not return, he risked a peep behind the counter. No one, nothing was there. Not even Matsukawa who sometimes crouched down on the floor in an attempt to scare him (which no longer worked after the fourth)

Akaashi tried again. This time a louder, confident volume of 'Matsukawa-san', but to no avail. Feeling a bit unsettled, he braved further steps into the shop and only when the woods begun creaking at the weight of his steps did he realized that he may has reached too far.

He drew one step back and attempted another but immediately halted in his stead when he heard whispers of unfamiliar banters at the end of the hallway.

One of the voices he recognized as Matsukawa's, so he cleared his throat and called his name again. 

Within next ten seconds of Akaashi's confused blinking, Matsukawa appeared right in front of him, making he jerked back a little from the sudden proximity. 

"Ah, Akaashi. Sorry, I didn't hear you just now" He grinned, light as breeze and gestured him inside, which Akaashi did albeit hesitantly. 

It did not take more than ten steps until he was hit with brilliant bright light from the left side of the common space. With an improved vision, he could made out splashes of paints littered on Matsukawa's white working shirt and blue pants. 

There was also a surprise of a man he never saw at the end of the long wooden table of the common room. 

A tall lean man, dressed in fine un-buttonned light cream vest with white dress shirt underneath was flicking leisurely through Iwaizumi's newest colored entries. 

"Oikawa, food is here" Matsukawa said and the man, Oikawa took his eyes off the parchment papers. 

When Akaashi finally met his eyes, he gaped breathlessly. 

The man was beautiful. His brown hair tossed perfectly to the side and his equally brown eyes glinted brilliantly under the reflection of the sun rays. There was elegance in his presence, grace in his bearing, his posture straight and trained. 

Oikawa, in contrary to Akaashi's response, glanced skeptically for seconds too long at him. Then, with a stern disinterested voice, he asked, "Who's this?" 

Matsukawa either not realising Akaashi's frozen shock state or deliberately pretending not to, pried the pile of food gently from Akaashi's grasp and assembled each of the boxes on the table. 

"Akaashi is one of Iwaizumi's dearest", he replied nonchalantly. 

Akaashi turned red at the sudden comment, stuttered in his place to say anything but was tongue-tied. 

Oikawa folded his arms to his front and took several steps closer towards Akaashi, his bright eyes seized him up and down as if scrutinizing the reason of Akaashi living at all.

"Heh..." Oikawa plastered a wicked grin on his face while boring his way into Akaashi's eyes, "No one is more dearest to Iwa-chan than me, Mattsun" 

Akaashi's inside suddenly tingled with a spark of annoyance. 

Who was this guy and his entitlement towards Iwaizumi? 

Before he could say anything though, Matsukawa groaned and pulled Oikawa away from Akaashi. 

"Oikawa here is one of our closest friend from Seijoh" He explained, "Had known Iwaizumi since he was a child, which is why the implication" 

"Mattsun!" Oikawa whined with a pout. A 180 changes from himself just a few seconds ago, "And I thought I would finally be having some fun!"

Akaashi blinked, stupefied but Oikawa paid no explanation. The grin was wiped off from his face and into a friendly, non dangerous smile. 

He hold out a hand for Akaashi, "Oikawa Tooru" 

"Ah..." Akaashi responded blankly before he scrambled to shook his hand. "Akaashi Keiji" 

"So Akaashi-chan" Oikawa sauntered to the other side of the table, taking a seat in front of Matsukawa and gesturing Akaashi to the empty chair opposite him. 

"You are not dating Iwa-chan, right?" 

"Eh?" 

"Eh?" Oikawa echoed in confused as he glanced at Akaashi and Matsukawa alternately.

"What, Iwa-chan is going back to Seijoh, right?" 

With that one question, the exasperation Akaashi felt last night came roaring in with high tides. The way he said it, the finality that resounded in Oikawa's words made Akaashi's head swarmed in buzz and his pulses raced again.

A glimpse of confusion mirrored in Oikawa's face before he turned to face Matsukawa in front of him, "Right, Mattsun?" 

Matsukawa wiped his face with both of his hands, groaning incoherently before raising up his head with a newfound authority. 

"You should ask Iwaizumi himself" 

"What?" Oikawa shrieked, his voice shrilled in the hollows of the room. "You have got to be kidding me! Iwa-chan has not decide that yet?!"

"Ah Iwa-chan" Oikawa continued, grumbled dramatically an exasperated groan. He crossed his leg in defeat and leaned back into his chair, sinking deeper into it. His eyebrows shot up at Akaashi who was standing frozen beside the wooden table. 

"Now, now Akaashi-chan. Would you sit? I am going to get a headache if I keep seeing you standing like that" 

Maybe he was being petty, but Akaashi decided he didn't like that tone. The condescending tone that defiled his autonomy as in choosing whether he wanted to sit or not should be his choice to decide. 

He was about to say so when Matsukawa pulled the chair and gestured him down. 

"Honestly I don't know why Iwa-chan even need to think about this," Oikawa complained, as he opened his lunch box after Akaashi sat down on his seat. 

"That old man has everything he need," He slurped a spoonful of miso soup that was still steaming from the lunch box, "Money, a new better place to do this thing that he loved so much and resources to do this thing that he wanted to do so much" 

Akaashi watched unblinking at Oikawa.

"Not everyone lived on money alone, Oikawa" Matsukawa chimed in as he ate his rice with grilled soba without any amount of distress in his tone.

"Well if there was nothing that this place offers better than money, than Seijoh will be a better place, no?" 

"Indeed" Matsukawa agreed. Akaashi hated himself when he found himself agreeing to Oikawa preposition, and found himself asking the same question, _what's holding him back?_

The conversation regarding Iwaizumi quickly sizzled out and replaced with Oikawa and Matsukawa fond bantering and reminiscence of old days here and there. Akaashi felt weird to listen to those stories because he could never imagine Iwaizumi being as brash as in Oikawa's stories, nor could he imagined how Iwaizumi once cried after losing a volleyball match in their school days. 

He could imagined Iwaizumi being the one to knock up sense in Oikawa, though. 

"Anyway, we made a pit stop at Dateko last time" Matsukawa remarked off-handedly but that seemed to perk up the other listeners in the room. 

"Doing what?" both Oikawa and him echoed. 

"For that anthónmorph? Matsukawa shot up a raised eyebrow at Akaashi, "You didn't know?" 

"Know what?" Akaashi asked urgently. 

"There are anthonmorph in Seijoh too, Matsun" Oikawa cut off, "Don't get absurd" 

"Shut up Oikawa" Matsukawa must had kicked Oikawa's shin from under the table because he suddenly yelped and pulled his right calf into his arms.

"Didn't you notice anything, Akaashi?" He prompted and took another sip of his drink. 

Akaashi looked down at his clasped hands on his lap, struggling to recall anything special at all with his anthonmorph.

What was different? 

What was different? 

What was....

"It lights up in the dark" Akaashi turned to face Matsukawa with wide eyes but instead of granting him with any response at all, Matsukawa just placed down his glass on the table with a quiet thump. 

"Heh..." Oikawa hummed thoughtfully. A frown passed his face for a second before one particular thought clicked in his mind. 

Hurriedly, he rose up from his seat and dabbed the napkin at the corners of his mouth, "Would you show me ways around, Akaashi-chan?" He beamed with a smile so foreign on his face. 

* * *

Akaashi never had a walk with a stranger before. He also definitely never considered himself as a tourist guide which made him wondered why in hell he didn't resist in the first place as he ambled down the muddy road with Oikawa a few steps in front of him.

Oikawa seemed to be knowing his way too, not at all sounding like he needed a guide to show him around as he led the way and made small comments of how Seijoh looked like compared to Fukurodani every now and then.

"You know Akaashi-chan" He slowed down to let Akaashi caught up with him. 

"I don't like it the first time Iwa-chan said he's leaving Seijoh" 

Akaashi stole a glance at him. From the side, Oikawa's corner of lips raised up and his eyes lost into the stretch of green grass and colourful butterflies that swarmed above the bushes of cornflower a few feet away in front of them. 

"You grew up together" Akaashi hummed after a few seconds of silence, "I think it was understandable that you were upset"

"I was scared, actually" Oikawa sounded so humane this time Akaashi had to stop in his track. There was a vulnerable truth in his tone, the smile that falters slightly ripped down the image of Oikawa that Akaashi had built in his mind.

The pompous, gaudy, confident capable man. 

"I even went to a river the day after he told me he was leaving," Oikawa chuckled, "Hoping that maybe the river spirit was really there and maybe if I prayed hard enough, he would listen to my wish and make Iwa-chan stays" 

Oikawa walked a few steps ahead towards the patch of the cornflower and grasping a stalk of it. He twirled it in between his fingers with hawk-like eyes. 

"But there was no river spirit" Oikawa continued, and exhale a long breathe.

"There was just a small man with weird tuft of blond hair fishing by the river instead" He paused for a moment, seemingly to replay the scene in his mind and scoffed, "I must have looked terrible that day, that he asked me what's wrong before I even started praying, mind you, and I told him everything, like an idiot" 

Then he rose to his feet and confront Akaashi, looking straight into his eyes as if he could swim in Akaashi's soul and saw what exactly behind the ambers of Akaashi's blue-green eyes, "Instead of making my wish came true, he said I was being ridiculous"

A fond smile took over Oikawa's expression, "That being scared is a waste" 

"To not confirm whether the food that you've dimissed without ever trying it is really as bad as you think it is" He continued quoting, "To not know how far you can go on a bike, to not know any of other those things and have it all end there is such an incredible waste" 

Oikawa breached the eye contact between them and looked so far as the scenery with a lone road with green mountains ahead allowed, "To not know how far I can go by myself is a waste" He said quietly, "And to not let Iwa-chan spread his wings doing what he shined the most would be greater waste" 

"So I braved myself and let him go" He turned around and placed his hand on Akaashi's shoulder. "In your case, won't it be a waste to let someone go without even knowing how they feel?" 

As if all neurons of his brain shooting signals at the same time, Akaashi felt a raw course of pang hitting him. As if he had been slapped hard on his back, squeezing out the sanity from his soul. 

_Was he that transparent? Was the interests he showed when listening to Iwaizumi's old stories was too much of a reveal?_

"Being brave is hard, but nothing can defeat the thrill of knowing how that little courage could change your life for better" There was a gleaming smile on his lips, "Would you mind showing Iwa-chan him what bravery meant this time?"

And then he left, leaving Akaashi behind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Nishinoya's gramps, oh and get the reference?  
> Guardian? Nishinoya? 
> 
> yay I'm so done with myself


	3. Chapter 3

Except that Oikawa was _wrong_. 

Akaashi was not scared of not knowing, because above everything else, to realize that his feelings were not reciprocated was far more terrifying than being left in the dark till the end of his life. 

Was that being a waste? 

_The hell if he knew._

But he surely did not want to have his heart ached in pain with every mention of Iwaizumi's name. At least, if he stopped now he'd be able able to associate Iwaizumi with the beautiful bittersweet memories of unrequited love. 

Was that not better? 

_The hell if he knew._

After that talk with Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi did walk off with a lighter heart. He even hummed random songs to himself as he walked his way back to the diner but that sheer-just-built confidence crushed down as soon as he set his eyes on a laughing running all over the place Shigeo. 

Don't get this wrong. 

That mushroom-cut seven years old Shigeo was not Iwaizumi secret love child. But, if anyone dared to say that Akaashi was special because Iwaizumi went as far as to Date Tech to customize an anthonmorph for him, what made Shigeo then?

Iwaizumi freaking bought a steel leg for that boy! 

Don't get Akaashi wrong. 

Akaashi loved that sweet boy, Shigeo. 

He was one of the kids that survived a terrible viral illness a few years back in Nekoma — and an in exchange for his life, he lost the ability to walk normally due to extensive damage in the nerve pathway to his left lower limb. Shigeo was abandoned, left to be taken care of by his grandparents here in Fukurodani. Iwaizumi had been his doctor since the day he reached Fukurodani. 

Akaashi remembered how Iwaizumi had always been fond about the boy, of how despite not being able to walk like the children of his age, he was always sincere. A good boy with pure thoughts. 

And last year, he even went as far as getting him a leg. 

So can Akaashi blame himself for letting his hopes high for that anthonmorph?

 _Yep, he definitely could._

Therefore, Akaashi already gave up the idea that he was, indeed someone special to Iwaizumi, which was why as he wiped the plate in his hand with a clean cloth, he sighed out loud. 

"Dude, that's the thirtieth for today" Kuroo's voice echoed in the empty space of the diner. Heavy thumps from sturdy boots echoed in the space before a tall young man, with a red jacket and disastrous messy bed head (which was ridiculous because this was not even in the morning) appeared in front of Akaashi. 

Kuroo took a seat on a stool facing the long counter Akaashi was working on. 

"I thought you're hurrying up to close this place for a date, Kuroo-san" 

It was 11 p.m., but the cleaning up for the day was already wrapped up (since Kuroo stopped taking more customers after 9 instead of 10 like usual)

"I rushed today's business because if I don't, your mourning sighs will swallow all our customers away" 

Akaashi placed the dish he worked on onto a pile of clean dishes at his right with a quiet clank. 

"I did bad today, did I?"

Kuroo glanced up and meet an obviously troubled Akaashi.

"What's wrong?" He asked, almost caring. "Lover's spats?" 

Instead of coming back at Kuroo's provocation with his clever remarks, Akaashi placed the cloth on the small drying rack beside the sink. Then, with muted steps, he fetched two tins of beers from the fridge at the end of the small kitchen to emerge beside Kuroo. 

He slid one can of beer to Kuroo, opened his own and swallow a generous gulp.

"How do you always know?"

Kuroo paid a blank look at Akaashi. 

"Akaashi" He called out. 

"I thought only couples had lover's spats?" 

Akaashi's face went from scarlet to crimson in seconds and Kuroo had the best moment of his life cracking up at his own scheme. 

"Well, sorry for getting ahead of myself" Akaashi finally managed as he hastily wiped off the corner of his lips. 

A glare from Akaashi's steely blue eyes did not make the man named by Kuroo Tetsurou faltered at all as he easily pastes a copy of his usual smirk on his face. 

Kuroo puffed out his chest, "Tell this Kuroo Shishou your lover issues and I shall guide your way out" 

"Don't...say it like that" Akaashi hushed, "And you're not my shou" 

Kuroo covered his mouth in a mock-gasp. "Akaashi. Did you forgot who gave you a free pass to see your sweetheart this afternoon?"

Akaashi stared unfazed at Kuroo for seconds. 

"I cannot see any other probability than you being a con-man in your previous life, Kuroo-san" 

"That's evil, Akaashi!" 

Kuroo dared to sound like he was offended but that awful acting squeezed out long laughter from the two grown-ups. They clinked their beers and swallow refreshing gulps but soon, silence warped the whole space again except for the trickling sound of mini waterfall illusion at the corner of the diner. 

Akaashi fussed with his hands on his lap, ignoring the way Kuroo's knowing eyes piercing through his actions. 

Hesitantly, he began, "Iwaizumi-san is leaving Fukurodani" 

Kuroo downed on his beer. 

"I know," He said, and land the beer with a quiet thump. 

The two of them lapsed into another round of silence before Kuroo turned to face Akaashi. The old steel stool left a loud screech on the concrete floor in the process making Akaashi winced. 

"So?" Kuroo prompted, lifting Akaashi's chin and stare through him with his slanted golden eyes. 

"Letting go of your iwaizumi-san just like that?" 

"He's not my Iwaizumi-san" Akaashi's voice wavered but he did his best brushing off Kuroo's hand. 

"I can't stop him from leaving anyway" 

"And why is that?" 

"Because he doesn't like me enough to stay" Akaashi stated pointedly. 

There, he finally says it. 

Yes, of course, Iwaizumi liked him. 

He thought so too. But their likes were _different_. 

His likes towards Iwaizumi was enough for him to want to be tied to that man, for him to go anywhere Iwaizumi wanted him to.

But Iwaizumi's likes to Akaashi was not enough to be a reason for him to stay no matter how much he adored Akaashi. 

"I heard Iwaizumi got you that anthonmorph" 

Akaashi's blood was fiery and boiled. 

"Are we not done with that yet?" He snapped.

"So what if he's getting me that? He brought the leg for Shigeo, Kuroo-san. Does that mean he loves him too? Or, does he loved me like Shigeo? Like his brother? Like his patient?"

Akaashi's breathing became ragged. Spills of brownish liquid from the can puddled around the beer can. 

Guess he squeezed the can too hard then. 

Kuroo gazed unblinkingly at Akaashi for moments, letting him get his bearing before he crossed his arms in front of his body. 

Kuroo inhaled sharp. "You can't compare yourself to that kid, Akaashi" 

There was a beat of silence before Akaashi's shoulders slumped forward and he took his face into the fists of his hands. 

"I know," He said softly. 

"I was over-reacting. That was uncalled for" 

Akaashi straightened up his posture, and paste a small smile. "Sorry, Kuroo-san"

Kuroo nodded slightly but a frown was scratching on his features. 

"Look, Akaashi" He leaned closer. 

"I know that Iwaizumi getting you a present, or him...looking after you does not equal to him liking you" 

A pause. Then, "But that also does not mean he didn't like you either, right?" 

Akaashi stilled, taking his time to comprehend every word Kuroo stated but before rose-coloured hope started to bud, a few nights back thoughts bugged him. 

Again. 

"He never tells me that he likes me" Akaashi whispered, defeated. 

"What's that" Kuroo shrieked, startling Akaashi backwards, "That's it?' 

"What was that for?" Akaashi howled back, putting his hand over his jumping heart at Kuroo's unnecessary shout. 

"Hey, Akaashi" Kuroo called him out. 

"Have you ever tell him you like him?" 

"No! No!" Akaashi shrieked. A second, then,

"No, no... I don't, but..."

"But what?" He continued to interrogate. 

"If you are going to say that Iwaizumi should say that first because he's a man then I'm going to strip you naked now" 

"That's not..." Akaashi stuttered. "I mean, I don't. But it was obvious, Kuroo-san." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I was always blushing and babbling like a kid in front of him. It was obvious I liked him!" Akaashi gestured big gestures with his hands, "But he was like this cool ass man who just smiled and laugh it off like...like someone who doesn't feel the same!" 

Kuroo inhaled, turned his chair to face the front (it screeched again) and took a final drink from his beer. 

"Akaashi," He said, "Do you really think blushing is an ideal way of confession?"

If Akaashi had never said he hated Kuroo, this moment should be the moment he said so. 

Kuroo leaned on his elbow. "That aside, have you ever say that you like him? Or at least, show him that you liked him?" 

Akaashi's breath hitched in his throat, blocking out any word he was trying to vocalize. 

Kuroo mercilessly ignored his futile attempt. 

"Does knowing that he don't feel the same is that scary?" Kuroo poked one of his finger to Akaashi's soft cheek. 

"Or does clapping your hands when he was doing a tap dance with his wife on their wedding day is scarier?" 

Akaashi wanted to say Iwaizumi won't tap dance, but suddenly a visual of Iwaizumi dancing with a veiled bride flashed in his mind and Akaashi flinched. 

Fuck Kuroo and his deadly curse. 

"Get a grip, lover-boy" Kuroo knocked a soft thump on his forehead and then he left. 

* * *

Akaashi walked his way home on the pebbled road in daze. The stills of Iwaizumi and his imaginary bride kept replaying on his mind and he cursed Kuroo for the hundredth time that day. 

That visual was extremely terrifying, and somehow he felt like barging into Iwaizumi's arms and beg him to stay. 

Which he did not do (though he did spend some time standing hesitantly at the junction between his house and Iwaizumi's— he chose the former because it was late at night and he decided that his head was still messed up from Kuroo's provocation)

Tomorrow would be a fresh day for a decision. 

Thus, when he saw Iwaizumi leaning on the wooden fence of his house with his eyes focused on the firefly that landed on his right hand, Akaashi was convinced the universe was playing some kind of trick on him. 

Akaashi had to stop from where his steps halted to regain his composure (or to slow down his quickened heart rate) before he called out for Iwaizumi. 

"Ah, Akaashi" Iwaizumi reckoned, and Akaashi realized how long had he missed this.

They hadn't talked since that night Iwaizumi told him about moving back to Seijoh. 

"What's the matter, Iwaizumi-san?" 

"Sorry. It's late, isn't it?" Iwaizumi swallowed. "It's just...You met Oikawa, earlier today?" 

Akaashi nodded. 

"I just came to check on you. Just... he didn't say anything weird, right?" Iwaizumi scratched the back of his neck. 

Akaashi hugged himself, feeling a bit let down that after days they didn't see each other but now what they're talking about was of someone else, "No. He did not say anything weird" 

"Sorry. It's just..."

"Why are you apologizing?" Akaashi questioned, and bite the corner of his lips immediately after realizing how harsh he sounded.

Ah, _fuck all reasoning._

Let this messed up head be the ruler today, he decided. 

"Come inside"

Akaashi made his way to the door and raise his eyebrows when Iwaizumi remained in his spot. That seemed to be working because one second later Iwaizumi trailed after him. 

He closed the door behind Iwaizumi with a muted slam and went straight for the kitchen to settle a kettle on the stove. He stayed there with his hands fisting the rail of the counter to support him. 

He took moments to get his bearing and when he turned back, Iwaizumi was in the common room. His eyes was locked intently at the pictures hanging on the wall. The dim orange lights from above flickered upon him, and Akaashi wished he could save this memory for the rest of his life.

The corner of his lips twitched upwards and he strode towards Iwaizumi. 

"You sure do love onigiri, Akaashi" Iwaizumi commented of a picture of Akaashi, dressed in a checkered kindergarten uniform with a big straw hat over his head. He was the smallest, being sandwiched between two older boys with his cheeks full and an onigiri in his hand. 

"I was five" Akaashi answered with a fond smile. "This one at the right is my brother and this one is a cousin" 

Iwaizumi nodded and pointed at a photo of Akaashi, squished in the center between Kuroo and Bokuto in another frame beside the previous one with a smile on his face upon seeing those familiar faces.

The gurgles from the boiling water shifted their attention to the kitchen and Akaashi hurried over to turn off the stove. 

"Tea is fine?" 

"Yeah, yeah... Anything is fine" 

Akaashi poured hot water into two mugs and soak tea bags into each of them. Both of them then sat opposite to each other, with minutes of reticence hanging in the air and steaming mugs in between. 

Akaashi wrapped his hands to the curve of the mug. He clenched and unclenched his grip but when he manned up to steal a glance at Iwaizumi, his eyes immediately met with the curious greens of Iwaizumi's. 

"I..." Akaashi withdrew his hands into his lap. "Heard about the anthonmorph" 

A raised eyebrow and an 'oh'. Iwaizumi cleared his throat, "You liked it?" 

"Yeah...it's beautiful" A blush crept into his cheeks again, 

_Fuck all reasoning,_ Akaashi reminded himself. "Why do you went that far for me?"

It must have taken Iwaizumi by surprise with the way Iwaizumi gape in between. 

"To help you sleep" He answered, "You had problems sleeping, right?"

Akaashi let out a soft laugh. "Hmm.. you care about me that much?" 

A beat of silence and a serious look was thrown in his way. 

"Of course" 

Akaashi did not know what to make of that. He wanted to ask, in what way do you care about me?, but his throat felt hot and thick so he blurted out what passed in his mind few days back. 

"There's not much flowers in blue."

Iwaizumi stopped sipping his tea and peek at Akaashi from the rim of his mug. With soft sigh, he placed down the mug on the table noiselessly. 

"I was hoping that would make you come over to my place" A small smile carved on his face, "We could go through those entries and pick the blue ones out" 

Silence, a beat. "But you never come" 

That words all together with the addition of how defeated Iwaizumi sounded reeled Akaashi out from his own world of insecurity. He felt — he didn't know what he felt. Suddenly, an overwhelming emotions of surprise, shock and confusion downed on him, swallowing him whole and a deep frown was set between his eyes. 

When Iwaizumi looked up and see the expression on his face, he laughed and extend his hand to smooth down that line. 

Akaashi gulped and stop Iwaizumi in his track. 

_Fuck all reasoning._

"I like you, Iwaizumi-san"

A puzzled look. "You can't..." 

"Yes I can" Akaashi said, despite the obvious trembles in his voice. "I like you. Both, as a friend and... in the romantic sense as well" 

Iwaizumi shot another look at Akaashi, "But I'm leaving..."

"Stay here or leave" Akaashi took Iwaizumi's hands in his, "Whichever, I don't care. Take me with you. Everything will be okay as long as I am with you, right?" 

The world stilled. 

"Or am I not enough reason, Iwaizumi-san?" 

"No" Iwaizumi rushed to hush Akaashi down, "It's not like that.."

He leaned forward and take Akaashi's face in his hands.

"But your world is here, Akaashi" He whispered, "Your home, your family, your friends. I don't want to take away your world from you" 

Akaashi braved himself to pierce through Iwaizumi's soul with his eyes. 

"Iwaizumi-san" He murmured, "My world is you. You are my family, my friend, my home." 

Then there was a loud screech before Akaashi realized he was pulled into Iwaizumi's arms.

He had never been embraced like this, warm and gentle but strong and loving at the same time. 

He let himself melted and pull Iwaizumi closer and tight. All he could hear was their quick uneven breaths but at least, they were in synchrony. 

Both of them.

When they pulled away, it was only to lock their lips in an appreciative kiss. 

It was far from the scenes in the drama that left you with fuzzies in your heart. After all, Iwaizumi's lips was cracked and Akaashi's was cold but it was perfect. 

It was as if they finally find their home and reasons for everything in the life. 

"I like you too, Akaashi" Iwaizumi whispered and he leaned his head down on Akaashi's shoulder. 

"I love you, Akaashi" 

  
_Maybe I was the oblivious one after all,_ Akaashi thought, and kiss him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa and the Guardian to the author: ARE WE A JOKE TO YOU?! 
> 
> Sorry loves! My brain gets wired real weird lately and I was thinking, we all have different fears, Oikawa. 
> 
> Also, I decided to adopt Mob as my son, which was the reason you may see unnecessary self-indulgent characters in here lol. 
> 
> I hope you love this!


End file.
